Our Review of Gumshoe Blues by Paul D. Brazill
The work of an evil despot is never done.
How many mornings must I awaken to spit at the dawn? How many babies must I dump from their cradles? How many churches must I put to the torch? It’s never enough.
It all becomes tiresome after a while.
Oh, I am so sick of being evil.
“How many kittens must I strangle, Bradly?”
“…um… seven, Master?”
“No, no. That was rhetorical.”
“Nevermind. Look, I don’t feel like raping the prisoners today. Would you handle that?”
The hunched little man eyed me suspiciously, wondering what the catch was, I suppose.
“…as… as my Master commands…”
“It’s not a reward, Bradly- it’s a punishment. It’s more evil if I make you do it. I’m too attractive to really inspire horror.”
He brightened, slicking his greasy black hair out of his pockmarked face with filthy fingernails.
“Oh, I see Master. VERY evil yes. I am quite hideous.”
“Good. off you go then… I mean MUWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAW!”
“Very good, master.”
The ugly troll of a man limped off, dragging the leg I’d broken in a feigned fit of rage once when it had seemed appropriate. it had never healed correctly.
No doctors in my realm.