Lately I’ve been focusing on three basic things in my life– finally finishing up a major work in progress, martial arts, and growing my freelance business in a way that is smarter, and frankly a lot less stressful. I’ve been focusing more on not being everything to all people as I have done previously, but rather on what I believe I am good at. I’m being more selective on how I spend my time. I’m being selective about my client list. I am becoming more professional.
Yet, there is that fear, something low and subtle tugging at the back of my mind. I imagine that all people who have committed to the freelance way of life have it. Those thoughts that plague you during those quiet times in between projects. Am I doing the right thing? Will I be able to make ends meet during those lean months? Would it be better to go back to that 9-5 regular job? Can I really make it?
I would love to say that I simply laugh off these misgivings, these doubts. I wish I could say that I have the confidence I need to toss them aside and dive in- damming the torpedos. But, really, I can’t. Don’t get me wrong– I am definitely leaping off the diving board. I just cringe a little bit at the thought of the icy water below me.
If you think about it, there is a lot of fear in the world today. The media brings us stories that tell of future political unrest, dangers, here and abroad, attacks on our liberties, phantom or otherwise. There is so much uncertainity and mistrust swirling around today. Most of us want to fight, but it’s hard to find the true enemy when everything around you starts looking like the boogieman.
So what can be done? Should we call each other to arms, to vote with our ballots, wallets and blogs? Should we stand fast amid the pepper spray and snarling media and fight? Should we set our jaw in a firm line and brace for impact?
Or perhaps travel a different path?
Truth is, I admire people who stand up and fight oppression. I admire their passion, their bravery, even their foolishness in a way. I admire their passion for change, to make things right. But change does not always come with the changing of administrations, laws, or even revolutions.
It comes with the changing of ideas.
It comes with stepping back from the raging fear that surrounds us and really, really looking at the cause. It comes from asking ourselves, truly, why are we so afraid?
Doing that, I have found that for the most part, my fears are unjustified. Please don’t misunderstand- there are real dangers, and real threats. There are things in this world that we should rage against. But there is a very large difference between fearing something and wanting to change something.
So what needs to be done? Truth is, I have no idea what you, or the world needs to do. I will tell you what I intend to do. I will continue living, thriving and writing. I will continue to show my truth to any and all who happen by. I will not allow my fear of what may happen control my fight for what I think should happen.
What about you?
© 2016 – 2017, Laura Seeber. All rights reserved.