Looking Down on Ourselfs

let’s criminalize ‘prettiness’ scar ourselves with sharp rocks compliments are insults bathing is unnecessary ugly animals all fat and filthy reeking foulness rubbing mud in our hair and throwing our shit at each other gouge out our perceptions with long dirty fingernails Is this the best we can do?

The World We Deserve

I’ve left my tower before. I don’t see what the big deal is. There’s sun and wind out there like there is in here. Same sun, same wind. The city at ped level is interesting sure, but not as interesting as say, Egypt during the Ptolemy’s reign or Mexico city …

One Fine Day

The work of an evil despot is never done. How many mornings must I awaken to spit at the dawn? How many babies must I dump from their cradles? How many churches must I put to the torch? It’s never enough. It all becomes tiresome after a while. Oh, I …

Serpent Legs

First of all, it was an apple, not a fucking fig. Big, juicy fucking apple. Come ON- I was there. All those painters brushing blood red fruit on canvas: Where did you think they got that fucking idea? You think they just couldn’t paint figs? That sort of art started …

Problem: Why do I have a Double Bill?

  Kimyada > My Issue: why do i have a double bill? 01100101> Hello Kimyada, Thank you for contacting BombastHiveNonhumanChatNetworkSupport. My name is <insert faceless drone identifier here: please stand by for random name generation> <stand by> Problem: why do i have a double bill.? <stand by> <waiting> <waiting> Kimyada …

A Very Special Maurice Show

A brightly lit stage surrounded by a rambunctious, hooting crowd. They throw various items at the people seated under the hot spotlights. A girl, a teenager at best with big gaudy earrings, red lipstick and what appears to be a black eye under heavy mascara. It is hard to tell …

No, You’re History

“Get on the ground! Get on the ground! ON THE GROUND! NOW!” They’d come in through every entrance in the building, each door blown in with explosive charges seconds before dozens of armored soldiers came crashing through the rubble. “DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN ON THE FLOOR!” they shouted, pointing frightening …

ExPat

There are two large stars in the day sky here, both huge and bright white. Staring at the nighttime firmament, one is bedazzled by billions of other stars, more than anything you’ve ever experienced back home. The bright sky rivals the city below, a continent-sized land mass beaming with the …

The Wood

I never wanted to live in the enchanted forest.

I’d inherited the shoe from great aunt Gertrude a few years before if for no other reason than that I was her last surviving relative- tales of profuse breeding habits notwithstanding.

I’d been up there a couple times as a kid, whole summers with Mom (never Dad- he never went near the wood) and although I remember there being many children on the property, Bertie had established her day care facility on the grounds precisely BECAUSE she’d never had children of her own. Never met the right man or something, I don’t remember the details. We were never close. So anyway, when I got the call from her attorney, Anthony “Squealy” Porkman (of Porkman Porkman and Porkman Property Law) about the shoe, it was also the first I’d heard that old Gertie was even dead.

I was surprised by the bequeathal, honestly. my mother’s aunt had always been something of a bitch to mom and me, something about her marrying a damn ‘outwooder’, and myself being the product of that apparently unholy union.